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Thank you for the kind words. As for Pt. 2 of the equation:

1. By the time we move to San Francisco, you'll be back east. Damn geography.
2. Not covered in scales. Or horns.
3. I actually smell very good. At all times. Ask anyone who has smelled me.

The way I see it, I whipped out a list that probably can't REALLY offend anyone, but probably can't REALLY flatter anyone either. I win.

I am covered in scales. How could you be so insensitive?


I yoost kiddink!


I take vitamin d. Got rid of my scales.

But luckily he's still nice and furry.

I just shaved some of my winter fur off. 65 F today. Flowers are coming up in the yard.

We're having a cold snap. Fifties this week, brr!!

so, did you have to get out the lawn boy for that task, or did you just borrow someone's pet goat?


While I'm on a mean streak, I think you meant "flowers are sprouting up in the backseat of that BMW rotting in my lawn."


Woo. Reading the intro I was thinking to myself "oh shit, oh shit, I don't want my feelings to get hurt this morning. I'm too hungry to handle it." But my negatives were not offensive. Good job.

I refuse to be pigeonholed as a scaly, smelly, polite juicer. This is an outrage. I--oh, hell, I admit it: I'm just grateful for the attention.

Yes the bmw is up on blocks and soon will have walnut trees growing up through it (the car up on blocks is a good place for squirrels to stash their nuts).

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