behind me

So, lanky female athlete-lovin' Joe from Book of Joe has sent a lot of traffic my way in the last couple of days, and in general, I welcome the attention. I love attention in almost all of its forms, after all. HOWEVER! To the Book of Joe readers who sent me nasty emails about the quality of my little blog (and to the jerk who suggested "Lacks Focus" or "Total Kaos" as my new title--both mean AND unclever--had you posted your suggestions in the actual comments section I would have ripped your unclever ass to shreds in public, because that how I do with the unlucky unclever), FOAD. Figure THAT acronym out, smary-pantses.

However, the new attention will die down soon, so it's back to the business of nothing to speak of as usual: assuming my 1.5 readers give a rip about what I'm doing. You've missed a lot, so I'll provide a convenient bulleted list with headings in bold so you can catch up (selectively, if you so desire) on events in my recent past:

--- I went on a week-long kayaking trip in the San Juan Islands.

I feared dying because I had to do two 2.5 mile crossings on open water (45 degree water, no less). Had the current pushed us too far west it was open sea from there; had the current pushed us too far east, it was Parker Reef ahoy. But as far as getting from point A to points B, C, and so on, we were lucky on every count possible: catching ferrys, making slack tide, getting mostly blessed with gentle currents, etc. I have to admit, though, despite that we had relatively calm water on our first crossing, I was shaking when we started out. And I had that one line from that one Coldplay song playing in my head, "You belong with me, not swallowed in the sea," over and over. Kinda freaked me out. Other than that, there were minor problems along the way--crows, bees, children, frat boys, motor boats, yacht flies, one really rough day of paddling through confused water and an incoming high tide--but mostly we had touchdown after home run after three-pointer. An extra-special highlight: We were there at the right time to see the a-mazing phosphorescent water, like sparks of fire and lightning strikes in the sea--pure, pure magic to the scientifically disabled. Photos of the trip keep trickling onto Flickr, so check them out.

---I went back to the midwest for a visit.

My sister moved to France for a year, so I saw her off from Chicago. In addiiton I spent two nights there hanging out with A_ron and Rah; one of those nights also included Jennifer (who came out despite feeling acky), Sleeve, Kevin, Olive, Jamey, and that one guy I had never met before. I owe a huge thanks to A_ron and Rah for putting up with my hectic schedule, severe sleep deprivation, and general crankiness both in Chicago and in Madison--Madison being where I spent a good chunk of my trip, as Jamey's +1 at his friend's wedding. Surprisingly enough, the time I spent at that wedding was the least stressful of the entire trip. Huh. Go figure.

Other highlights of my trip included (listed as sentence fragments): Getting up nort' to see my parents and my grammies. Taking Karl out on his birthday. Hanging out with Molly, Junes, Jeffie, Jonathon, Karl, Erik, Ann, DSG, Wauters, Claire, Baby, Jesse, and others in Madison and other places. Spending a lovely afternoon with KF and his girlfriend, touring their new house and drinking their beer. Cody driving up with Zoey just to hang out with me for an afternoon, and even braving one of J's family functions. A Sconnie-style fish fry in a suburb of Madison. Drinking on the square during Taste of Madison.

Lowlights included: Not sleeping. Not enough sleep. Being tired. Physical exhaustion. Emotional exhaustion. Lack of rest. Inadequate relaxation and time to myself. Tiredness. No downtime.

Also, not seeing certain people, like Jane, Katie, Nutz, James, Anna, Luke, Leslie, etc. HOWEVER. There is no way in hell I could have fit even one more thing into my schedule without losing my goddamn mind. So, sorry. But not really.

Thank yous to: my mammy and pappy, Rah and Aaron, Jennifer, Jeffie (this is an extra-special big one--he really did me a huge favor by carting these huge rolls of paintings around for days on end so I could return them to their creator), Karl.

--- I'm preparing for teaching in the new quarter that begins at month's end.

One of my classes is one that I've taught four times, so I was hoping my prep work would be cake. THEN I get a phonecall from the bookstore telling me that the book I've always used is out of print, and I'll have to order the totally revamped new edition. So publishers being money-grubbing scumbags = more work for underpayed ThElizabeff. C'est la vie for the poor abused adjunct. In other words, if I'm not especially communicative, I've provided my excuse in advance.

that is all for now bitches

Comments

[Mary]

You live an exciting life, my girl. Puts me to shame. Welcome back to the Internet world. I've sure missed you. Frequent postings will resume, I assume. (catch that fancy rhymn?)

[ARRON]

Okay, so I'm back here to demand that idiots who e-mail to complain are made to publicly suffer some of your hi-larious barbs.

It's only fair.

[ARRON]

Also, maybe I'm misunderstanding your post, but if anyone remotely connected to The Book of Joe is calling your blog chaotic or unfocused they need to do a pot color-check before they get on the kettle's case.

Honestly, that site is like DIGG but with the double-spacing-tendencies of a high-school student stretching one page into five. I'm surprised that he didn't opt for a 32pt font.

LAME!!!

[thelizabeff]

Um, er... Joe himself is pretty rad, I mean, other than clearly wanting to bone my girl Maria for whom I harbor only maternal feelings. I told him about some of the random commenters, and he pretty much said, "yeah, some of my readers are like that." Fair enough. *I'm* a much bigger jerk than any of them, I just keep it out in the open.

I'm so glad you like my barbs, because they stick out all over me. You see the one where I was all "I know how doods stick together, you know, like clay in a piss-filled litter box!" OH, SNAP!

[ARRON]

Okay, so it sounds like I mis-read the complaint. Still, I stand by my petty complaints about "The [Large Print] Book of Joe."

[ARRON]

Oh yeah, and I also think grown-men playing video games is both kinda lame and something I wish I could do.

I get dizzy just watching Halo...so sue me. And I just cheat at Grand Theft Auto so where's the fun?

That said, I do kinda want on of those Nintendos so I can play Tetris or Mario Bros or whaterrr.

Maybe I'll get an iPod and just surrender.

[thelizabeff]

Yeah, it's just a handful of Book of Joe's readers who can't handle my "astringent" tone, apparently. You know what, I really love that adjective. Astringent. It suits me, really. Caustic would work, too. Bitchy.

Playstation is lame. Like I said before, if you contradict me, I will hunt you down and bleach you. To death. I will. I love bleach so much I lost two or three layers of the skin on my hands. Bleach. Mmm. Bleach.