do you believe in planets?

travel woes and DOH!'s

Drive from Chicago taking 4.5 hours? Woe or "DOH"?

Four-point-five-hour drive with no Sarah to indulge me with endless gossip and generally be adorable in my passenger's seat, and no Dave&Adrienne to say hilarious and clever things and generally be adorable in my backseat? Woe or "DOH"?

And now... hmm...

Hmmmm...

do miss.

DIZ WINDOWZ, IT HAZ A SMELL

DO WANT SLEEPZ.

LET SLEEPZ NOW PLEEZ.

hmm, elevate, um...ice...uh...ibuprofen? what's that effin' acronym???

I wanted a laugh, and Jennifer's adorable creations on flickr inspired me to revisit the silliness that is LOLcats. Here's my personal favorite. Look, don't judge me. Just enjoy:

Now the whining part: I wanted a laugh because I turned my freaking ankle over bigtime tonight, and I is pissed. I was swinging gleefully at the ball one second, collapsing in a pile and screaming silently the next. Freaking tennis center needs to sweep the freaking leaves off the freaking courts. FRICK!

Now I ice, I sit, I ice and sit, but it still freaking hurrrrrrrrrrts, it hurts it hurrrrrrrrts, way up the side of my leg to my knee, and I'm super worried about it. I don't want to ice and sit. I want to bike and play tennis and hike and swim and shit. Swam in three different rivers last week, hiked on the coast twice in two weeks, toddled around on mt. st. helens, and I figured my summer was just beginning... now I'm a cripple! A CRIP! Okay, I exaggerate, but...FRICK.

Let's look for the bright side...now I have an excuse to sit on my arse and watch the quarters, semis, and finals of the French Open this week, right? And I can blog about it all...RIGHT? Yeah, that totally makes up for a whole summer's worth of sw--PAGING DR. JZN FIX MY ANKLE KTHANKSBYE.

anna nicole smith slept with some ugly dudes before she died...

That's all I learned from watching twenty minutes of MSNBC during my breakfast. Which, in turn, is why I read my news.

DECISIONS, DECISIONS...
So finally, [institution that had me waitlisted] got back to me and told me--politely, cordially, and with seemingly genuine empathY--"hang tight." They can't identify my relative place on the waiting list because it's all field-specific, so the *right* person would have to refuse [institution]'s offer for me to get in. Which is bad news for me, because my field happens to be particularly flooded. So why didn't I choose a different field, you ask? Well, smart-ass, we can't always choose the ones we love.

Yes, I *do* respond to all criticism, imagined or otherwise, with a snide cliche.

Moving on: because I operate under the assumption that [previously discussed institution] will, in all likelihood, eventually reject me, my decision re: institution that offered me money is still treading heavily through the corridors of my brain. I drag my feet, and so do my decisions.

HERE IS MY TIME--FRITTER IT AWAY PLEASE BITCHES...
I had a second interview today for a job I actually wanted. Before the interview even began, the motherfucker be all "well, frankly, you're not exactly qualified for this job, but we really like your resume and wanted to get to know you a little better in case other positions open up that better suit your skills and qualifications."

MOTHER. FUCKER.

Next time I want to waste my time interviewing for a job that doesn't exist, I'LL let YOU know. Until then, PLEASE DON'T CALL ME IN FOR A SECOND INTERVIEW IF YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF HIRING ME.

Mother. Fucker.

where oh where is my decision-making machine?

Google is no help.

Pro/Con lists make the choice seem obvious:

Pros to Moving:

Begin my career in earnest, finally, as I'm pushing 30
Closer to family
Breakfast club with Jane
Closer to friends and friendlies in Madison, Chicago
Big chunk of free money
Teaching job locked in in Milwaukee
Get away from increasingly troublesome departmental politics where I currently work

Cons to Moving:

Milwaukee, WI
Leaving Portland, OR
Leaving the ocean and the mountains and the hiking, paddling, biking, etc.
Leaving the roses and the flowers and the green green greenery
Leaving my boyfriend
Leaving my kitty
Leaving fantastic weather (for the most part, ignore previous post please)
Leaving friends whom I love and adore
I have, like, two whole friends in Milwaukee
My apartment is Porland is freaking gorgeous
Might have to consider diving back into the dating pool to avoid ending up a spinster
Moving farther from Seattle (a place I love)
Moving farther from San Francisco (a place I adore)
Moving across the country.
Moving, period.
Starting. Over.

Judging by the lengths of the lists, this decision is a no-brainer. On this point, Google seems to agree:

So why is this decision making me insane? Augh.

I got "the email"

and now I'm a little weepy. Totally DON'T wanna talk about it.

Bye.

and the evil puppeteer pulling the strings said, "hey, it looks like thelizabeth is actually have a GOOD day. let's fuck with her!"

I got some good news today.

Not GREAT news, but encouraging news anyway.

Then this evening I went to my tennis lesson and had a lovely time with the WASPish bitches I always whack balls with.

Came home, planning a yummy dinner in my head. Sweet potatoes were involved.

Ten minutes into dinner preparations, there was a fizzle and a wrrrrrrr.

Yupper, we lost our power--on both fuses simultaneously, so it's not a blown fuse issue--and our landlord won't send out an electrician until we can get in touch with our neighbors who know some random dude who does electrical work for cheap. AND, as our neighbors tell us, who took over a week to actually get out here and fix shit. So I am grading papers by candlelight... AFTER I transport all of our food to Sweet Baby's refridgerator and freezer, because we just spent $200 on groceries.

Cue the circus music, please.