do you believe in planets?

"honor his policies"--WHAT??

I will not apologize for calling a spade a spade.

This girl--bless her sheltered, spoiled, thin-lipped soul--is a MORON.

I will not apologize.

i can haz PUT THE CAMERA DOWN AND CONTROL YOUR CHILD

K, y'all er familiar with my love of LOLcats. But this one just rubs me in quite the wrong way:

THIS is why I do not think that being a parent automatically makes you a better person than the rest of us.

WHAT. The EFF. Is WRONG with someone who gives their hell-child a poor innocent animal to TORTURE in front of the camera? DAT KITTEH IS NOT PLAYEN. For serious, in addition to the many other things wrong with this picture (would YOU want a cat's foot/tail/whatever that is in YOUR baby's mouth?) who lets a tiny infant play with an animal with no guidance or interference to begin with, but then just stands back and snaps away with the point-and-click when, say, THE INFANT BEGINS TO MUTILATE THE ANIMAL?

Parents. Need. To. Stop. Thinking. Everything. Their. Child. Does. Is. Adorable.

Apologies to friends who are parents, friends who are soon to be parents, and to that poor baby for clearly being raised by complete morons.

P.S. I know, I know, Ebeff should focus her energies in more productive ways. At least I'm not taking photos while my kid tortures a pet.

you have GOT to be fricking kidding me.

I know, I know, I said "fricking." Due to increasing levels of language-understanding offspring among my friends, I am trying to reduce my swearage, and in honor of that crazy Eliot girl on Scrubs , I have adopted "frick" as my soft-curse of choice.

So let me just say: FRICK. DOUBLE FRICK. FRICK ON A STICK. FRICK ON A STICK WITH A BRICK.

This weekend had its ups and downs. The ups were "eh?", while the downs were INCREDIBLY FRICKING LAME. So I'm a little fricking pissy to begin with.

And now, here I sit grading papers, having been awakened at FOUR FRICKING AM by the alarm on the bar across the street THAT IS STILL GOING OFF 3.5 FRICKETY-FRICKING HOURS LATER. And when I say alarm, this is not like the merely "annoying" car alarm echoing through the neighborhood. This is like those bell-alarms from high school fire drills, but four times as loud--from across the street it's so fricking loud that Jamey couldn't hearing me calling him from the bedroom when he was in the hallway immediately outside the bedroom. I can't hear myself think, much less grade papers. And even if I COULD hear myself think, I'd only hear, "Duh? Duh-duh-duh?" because I only got three fricking hours of fricking sleep last night. Frick on a fricking stick with a gosh darn fricking brick. FRIIIIIIICK! Those frickers. And by the way, their bar SUCKS.

That's fricking it. From now on, I'm totally calling the cops rather than making semi-polite requests for crowd control when their patrons are screaming/singing/revving their engines/fighting at 2 in the morning. That'll show those frickers not to frick with this motherfricker.

And they said it would never happen.

Then along came two consecutive supreme court nominations for Shrub Jr., and the next thing you know the Supreme Court is wiping its shitty old feet on women's rights. Fuck you, supreme court!

That said, hear hear:

From: Planned Parenthood Date: Apr 18, 2007 8:25 PM

Earlier today, the U.S. Supreme Court issued a disastrous decision for women's health and safety. A 5-4 majority turned its back on more than 30 years of Supreme Court decisions that protected women's health from dangerous laws that restrict abortion.

It's time to tell every politician who thinks the Supreme Court’s reckless decision is a green light to endanger women’s health: We won’t let you get away with it! Sign our Planned Parenthood pledge right now.

We are outraged by this Supreme Court ruling that has brought about a seismic shift on reproductive freedom. The court told women that, with their health at risk during a pregnancy, deciding what to do is no longer up to them and their doctors. The Bush Supreme Court has let politicians come barging into that most personal of decisions.

No woman in America is safe from that intrusion. And women in states where anti-choice legislators are tripping over themselves to take advantage of the court’s unprincipled actions are in the most immediate jeopardy. Send a powerful message right now. Make clear that you won’t let any court or any politician put women’s health and safety at risk. Sign our Planned Parenthood pledge now.

Please re-post this bulletin!

Don't like my tone? Eat me.

flood gates: open

So I put in grades yesterday, they were posted today, and so far I have two (2) angry emails in my inbox, one (1) apologetic email in my inbox, and one (1) final paper submission, two weeks late, with no explanation. Do I win?

My face gets hot when I read the angry emails. Good thing no one ever wins an argument with me unless I decide to let them win.