Okay, I confess--I use nicknames probably too liberally, and at times, quite thoughtlessly.
Full-ish disclosure: Bud didn't like "Buck"; I, though, couldn't let it go, and merely switched to "Buckles." I never call Brogan "Logan" anymore. Some Portland friends still call Matt "Sweet Baby"; more than likely a scattered few still think he's Jamey. I throw "Princess" around with great enthusiasm, disregarding gender. "_______-face" is a popular one with me, too; it began with Frostface, but "face" would eventually attach itself to a wide selection of names (Krausy-Face, Lisa-Face, etc.) and descriptors (pretty-face, etc.) ... until in Reese's case, I finally detached the "Reesey" from the Face altogether, and "Face" alone it was. (It's kind of like calling a tall girl "Legs," but less sleazy. Right?) Mm, and lately I've been very into the botanicals: "Peachtree," "Peaches," "Raspberry bush," "Watermelon." Yes, Watermelon. And, of course, I also enjoy the usual terms of address/endearment: darling, dearie, sweetheart, dollface, beautiful (are you gagging yet?), light of my life, fire of my loins. And so forth.
THERE. I CONFESSED. I AM GUILTY.
HOWEVER! In return, I have been more than accepting of the many nicknames thrown back in my direction. Pick a variation of my name--I've rolled widdit. Chewy (yes, as in Return of the Jedi Chewy), Sasquatch, "The Camel"--I have learned to deal with, even to like, these less-than-flattering labels. "Peachtree" comes back to me occasionally. References to my towering height (which really isn't SO towering) work their way in there. Jesus, one of my highschool friends called me "Clarence" for years. The same guy who called me "Horny Cream." I rolled widdit. It's coo'.
HOWEVER! I have realized, after many years of tolerance, after every effort to claim the label as my own, that I am simply not okay with "Ice Queen." As a nickname, it's inaccurate, it's fucking mean, and, strangely, it usually comes from the people toward whom I feel most warmly. And really, couldn't we imagine how calling anyone "Ice Queen" might occupy a gray area between "coining a nickname" and merely "calling someone names"?
For my part, I hereby vow to stop calling myself Ice Queen (of which I have been often guilty, usually to either self-deprecate or to beat others to the punch--neither should be necessary, and I'm sure it irritates others as much as it does myself). And with that vow, I hereby claim my right to be pissed off if you call me Ice Queen.
So it's official. If you refer to me as such, whether followed by, "Oh, I'm just teasing!" or not, expect to be either: a) freezed out indeed, b) covered with whatever was left in my glass, or c) verbally skewered. The choice among these options is mine and depends solely upon my mood.
Love,
Chewy ThElizabeth: The only nickname that counts.
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