How I've adored thee from afar, the distance between us being only time!
Here're Karl's blanks:
# Use of a transparently unreliable narrator in your transparently semiautobiographical novel is the 19 year-old version of you letting yourself off the hook.
# The only real smooooovement left in the world is to be found in luxury automobile advertisements.
# His was a mind in which love and revenge were irretrievably commingled, complicating how blanks should be filled to describe him.
# "Now, brothers," said the King of the Rats. "Now is the hour of clinking tiny little rat-sized spoons against the sides of tiny little rat-sized wine glasses."
But behind him there was silence.
# He died a man's death, with a grunt, a scratch, and something mumbled about "titties".
aaaaand Aaron's:
Sleeping in a raft was an oddly familiar experience despite the fact that she had only wet herself in her sleep once and never in a water-tight vessel.
Although he had always thanked his bitchez for assisting him in his mediocre success, when he stepped to the podium this time, he instead thanked shrimp fizzle gumbizzle. Later, when pressed by his colleagues to explain his speech, he said "SK8 OR DIE!" and then promptly ordered a third shot of espresso in his extra-hot carmel macchiato.
He instantly regretted shouting "everybody Everybody EVERYBODY CUT FOOTLOOSE!" although he did not regret bringing his leg-warmers as they served him well in defending himself from the chilly response his outburst produced.
The best strategy for exposition always begins the same way: voice-over. It's what you do next that determines if you have a hit movie or a schlocky shit-pile of sentimental montages--in essence, an amateurish Amelie rip-off.
Hugging a cactus may not seem like a good substitute for a hairshirt but she insisted that it was better than cutting off her nose to spite her face, and, judging from her already horrendously botched nose job, she might well have been right.
And last but not least, MINE, sluts! Play my game!
1) The waiter had just left the table when she hung her head, then began to shake violently. I thought she might be choking, but she was actually __________. I put my ___________ on the __________ and ____________.
2) "For Buck and Tracy, two single twenty-somethings, going for a late-night swim in the river could only lead to __________." That was the narrative the writers had in mind for the episode, but after a tragic on-set accident, it went more like "_________________________________."
3) Ethical criticism of art amounts to two ___________ in a ____________, __________ over a _______ and a _________. NO ONE want THAT now, do they? Well, sure, but only if "they" are _______________.
4) ONE and two and three AND ______! TWO and two and three AND ________! THREE and two and three AND _______! FOUR and two and three AND--wait one fucking second, why the fuck are you __________________? You goddamn ___________.
5) "It _____________ like this," she recalled, ____ing her _______. I would have done anything to stop her from speaking, but instead I just ________________. So she went on, looking us both square in the eye: "Your __________ may have told you that he _____________, but I can tell you without a doubt--he actually ________________" I looked at ____________, but she just stared, ______________, and asked me __________.
You'll notice I ask a lot of you--there are more blanks than there are connecting phrases up there. I'm feeling lazy.
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