I was going to post this in response to that "25 random facts" clusterfuck circulating around Facebook like the clap in a whorehouse. I decided to scrap the project for fear of insulting the friends who DID post their 25 so-called "random" facts. Then J went on a pretty convincing "facebook is overshare-y" rant over on her blog, so I'm posting this here, for her. I'm pretty sure she's the only person who reads this shizznizzle anymore any ol' hoo.
1. I’m hung up on the notion that you can’t really “choose” 25 bits of trivia to volunteer about yourself and then conveniently dub them “random.”
2. Then again, my first instinct was to say, “I have three kidneys!”
3. Which I do—I do have three kidneys.
4. But that’s the furthest thing from a random fact—in fact, it’s quite the opposite: my go-to story/factoid that I whip out whenever someone implies that I should build myself up as unique and interesting.
5. And really, isn’t that what this questionnaire means? By “random facts” don’t we really mean “interesting quirks—things that mark you in a particular way, not so ‘out there’ that you come off like a total weirdo/loser, but not so mundane that you sound like the world’s most boring bore; things that people probably don’t know about you, but that don’t come across as overshare-y”? That’s how I interpret it.
6. And I’ve filled these out before…
7. …so I know what I’m talking about.
8. Although last I remember filling one out, it was 6 random facts, which is way easier to deal with than 25.
9. And really, I never know what I’m talking about—that was a bluff.
10. I’m working pretty hard to be “meta.” I hope y’all appreciate that.
11. You know what really does strike me as random? The songs that get stuck in my head, rotating on a weekly-or-so-basis.
12. This week it’s a newer old R.E.M song, with a video of a cellist getting her ass handed to her by life.
13. The reality is that I just like the video because Michael Stipe is adorable.
14. (It’s possible that the exhibitionist-me is screaming right now at the facebook-me to scrap the interior dialogue and just pummel you with 25 a-touch-too-personal elizafacts.)
15. (But that exhibitionist-me has a blog for staging her exhibits, so for the moment she can just go ahead and can it.)
16. Before that it was Rihanna, ye olde Umbrella song.
17. Whenever I think of Rihanna prancing around with that umbrella bein’ all, “Said I’ll always be your friend,” blah blah, “You can stand under my um-buh-rella, ella, ella, eh eh eh,” I go “awwwww!”
18. Sometimes facebook makes me want to stab myself.
19. Sometimes facebook makes me want to stab others.
20. Before Rihanna it was Beyonce, with her entrancing “Single Ladies” song+video.
21. It is possible that I am generally just a touch “stabby.”
22. Before Beyonce it was Sheena Easton’s “My Baby Takes the Morning Train.”
23. I should be more generous.
24. I’m making myself out to have the world’s worst taste in music.
25. I ate dinner with a plastic spoon tonight.
And P.S.: This article gives the F-U to the F-B in a manner much more clever than I did.
Little do you know that I read your blog too. Though I often go straight from yours to Jade's, which, I don't know, makes it sort of like this is Jade reading your blog?
Also, I had no idea what that '25 things' phenomenon was, and suddenly everyone was already sick of it. Saves me the trouble!
Posted by: Adrienne | 2009.02.04 at 09:27 AM
A few things:
lastly, 'I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth!'
firstly, is that the beyonce song about putting a ring on it? you know if you like it then you gotta put a ring on it... and she's got that glove and dances all around in non-reality space? cuz I gets that song in my head way to often.
and secondly, my mom wants to sign up for facebook and of course kiki is mortified and afraid she is gonna spy on her. LOL. funny.
that's all.
Posted by: em oh lie | 2009.02.04 at 05:11 PM
Ahaha! Are you referencing the original, or the cover? At your bro's record release show, Stern was amazed by how many "Incompetent" originals I could call to mind. Hee hee.
Yes, THAT would be the video. My friend Chris and I put it on and wiggle around the office like the awkward white people we are whenever we need a lift.
My parents are totally on facebook, posting embarrassing pictures, friending my friends. I dig it, it keeps me honest. AND it's hilarious.
Posted by: ThElizabeth | 2009.02.05 at 07:33 AM
Oh, and I'm totes gonna go friend your sister now. Hope I can track Beth down!
Posted by: ThElizabeth | 2009.02.05 at 07:42 AM
YES, 25 things in narrative form! brilliant.
less brilliant, me, reading your shout-out a month late.
you make yourself out to having the world's worst taste in music, but really, i had apple bottom jeans, boots with the furrrrrr, da whole club was lookin at hurrrrrrr stuck in my head for like an hour this morning. AND I LIKED IT.
Posted by: jade | 2009.03.02 at 10:49 PM